Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
