I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
