We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
