Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
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