i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I can't put those talents on a resume
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
