dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
What drink are we having for lunch?
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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