I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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