bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
