gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Randomize
