He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
