You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
This is the high leading the old right now
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
