If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
