it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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