my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
