i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Randomize
