He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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