i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
