therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Randomize
