I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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