I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
