Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
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