it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
im six kinds of drunk right now
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Randomize
