"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
