Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
