I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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