I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
