I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
