Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
