I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
