I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Randomize
