dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. �Hello 29...
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
