Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
