Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
