and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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