hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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