i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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