so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
