Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
