Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
She announced her abortion via fbk
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
