You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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