Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
