I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
