Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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