i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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