How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
