I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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