HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
