I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
What's dad's email?
[email protected]
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
