at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
she was so not down for the gang bang
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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