i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
