I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
