What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
