shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
