how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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